I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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