i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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