i just wanna soil my oats bro
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize