Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
