There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
40s are totally the cure
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
