oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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