I am puke
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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