Small penises have feelings too.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
