If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
