i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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