i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
