You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize