Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
