Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
