idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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