she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
