Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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