i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
