Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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