Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize