just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
