Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
