Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
