dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
