Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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