is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
