Little spoons don't ask big questions
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
