Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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