No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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