Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
