I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
