it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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