Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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