I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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