The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
