At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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