**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
