Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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