Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
