I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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