is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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