apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
