found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize