i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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