and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
