So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
