We're facebook friends in real life
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
