Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
