drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
