absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize