Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
