My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
