oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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