Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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