Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
