We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize