I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize