Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The ass gains better be worth it
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