I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
