in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
